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Ramblings On The Third Anniversary

What is life without a soulmate? It's a bachelor's heaven, with no rules, no questions asked. It's never having to say sorry, never having to think about someone else, never having to justify a single act to another living being. It's freedom unlimited, to do what you want to do...

Still, we search for that elusive soulmate, knowing deep inside that if ever we found one, it would mean a complete overhaul of life as we know it. And let's face it, we have no clue whatever that means!

I've been searching, For a pot of gold
Like the kind you find, At the end of the rainbow
I've been wandering, Gone away too far
But the road was rough, To get back where you are
How does one know a soulmate, if she ever passes by? How does one conclude this time I know it's for real? How does one know "is it love, or is the idea of being in love?". No one has answers that work consistently. Still, we fall in love. Still, we open ourselves up to that special someone, lowering our armors, defenseless like a child. Why?

It is three years already, since we signed on the dotted lines, completing the formality -- of announcing to the world that we're a legally wedded couple. Yes, it's just a formality, but not many formalities can overwhelm you the way this one can. Three years back, as I was waiting for her, at the Mumbai's marriage registrar's office (a dingy garage converted into an office, that is), for the first time in life, she didn't turn up on time -- with solid reasons! A sumo driver in leftmost lane ahead of the car in which she was traveling, lost control, and darted two lanes across. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt in the accident that followed.

What is life with a soulmate? It's going back home, it's leaving part of you at home, always. It's always having a shoulder to cry on. It's always having someone around to share your tiniest triumphs, and your biggest disappointments. On those lonely evenings, when nothing seems to be worth, it's looking into those eyes, and every single time rediscover a reason to live. It's being oneself, with someone else. It's doing things one hates to do, and still being happy about it. It's thinking about someone else's happiness, to find your own converging right there. It's sharing your deepest fears and embarrassments, and feeling good about it.

Now I know I can't lose, as long as you follow
There is a reason why we risk our heavens.